Limerence
by the merrinator
Summary: Remus Lupin and his crush througout the years. F&E, unrequited RLSB and mentions of JPLE.


A/N: Ah, my fellow writers/HP fans. Another F&E for ya! This one was a little easy, but mostly hard. So yeah.

I actually am finding it hard to write slash and parings and stuff like that! I've run out of ideas for fics that are romantic-y. And slashy. Poor me! (hugs self)

So here we are:

DISCLAIMER! I don't own HP, JKR does, end of story. Also, I don't own Doctor Who. The show is invading my DVR space thanks to my dad. Not that I don't luv the doctor…he's a cutie.

Now for the story!

Limerence 

_Limerence can often be what is meant when one expresses "having a __**crush**__" on (or __infatuation__ with) someone else although limerence, unlike a crush, can last months, years or even a lifetime. (from Wikipedia)_

Remus Lupin looked at his book, sighing. He was in a train, the Hogwarts Express, and he was nervous about his first year at his new school. 'I mean, how were people supposed to deal with a werewolf?' he thought to himself, flipping the page. Dumbledore had said he'd take care of it, but Remus had his doubts.

As he read the line, '_Hogwarts has an enchanted ceiling located in the Great Hall,' _a knock came to the compartment door, making the small boy jump. He got up and opened the door.

A boy with long, shaggy hair and shining grey eyes stood in the compartment doorframe, and he was smiling at another boy with hazel eyes, unruly black hair, and round glasses. The shaggy haired boy looked down at Remus and smiled.

"Mind if we sit with you? The other compartments are all full." For an eleven year old boy, his voice was pretty deep. Remus just nodded, and the two boys came in and sat down. "The name's Sirius Black…this is James Potter. We just met a few seconds ago…you seem like a nice bloke, James."

"Well, thank you my kind sir!" James said goofily, and the two boys chuckled. Remus felt left out, until Sirius rounded on him, asking, "So what's your name?"

Remus blushed slightly. "R-Remus Lupin."

"Nice to meet you, Remus!" Sirius said, shaking Remus' hand. Remus blushed a shade darker and went back to his book as the two others started to talk.

* * *

Remus Lupin looked at his book, sighing. It was sunny outside, and he was studying while Sirius, James, and Peter Pettigrew taunted the greasy Slytherin known as Serverus Snape.

Or Snivellus.

"Come on, you guys, leave him alone," Remus tried, but the three kept on making fun. Finally, Remus gave up, and Snape ran away, back to Lily Evans, his friend.

"That git; he thinks he can drool all over Lily," James mumbled, sitting back down.

"Yeah, that's your job," Sirius said, and even Remus had to laugh as James blushed a deep crimson.

"Well, I've seen you and Rose Holden snogging all the time in the hallways," James said, "And frankly, you look really, REALLY bad at it!"

"Oh, bollocks!" Sirius said. "I don't look bad, do I, Pete?"

Peter shrugged. "I guess not. You're better than me and Frankie. She's horrible." The three boys chuckled.

"How about you, Moony? I haven't seen you snogging anyone in the hallway lately…or ever." Remus looked up at Sirius, who was shooting him a suggestive look.

"So?"

"What about you? Don't you like someone?" It was Remus' turn to blush.

"No," he said, trying to keep his voice steady. It seemed to work, because Sirius pinched Remus' cheek and said, "Little Remy hasn't blossomed yet!"

"Neither have you," Remus shot back. He smiled a little as they all laughed.

* * *

Remus Lupin looked at his book, sighing. The snow was falling down hard, but luckily the Marauders were in the Three Broomsticks, and were warm and toasty.

"Why are you reading in Hogsmeade?" Sirius roared, snatching his book away. "You can do this back at the castle."

Remus growled, a little bit of his wolf coming out. "Give it back!"

"Okay, okay, but I'm not going to let you read in the Common Room, got it?"

"Whatever," Remus mumbled, drinking his Butterbeer. Sirius just rolled his eyes and talked to James, who was picking on Peter. Remus watched how Sirius' mouth moved, and listened to how he said the words that came out of it. He wondered what it would be like to be one of the many girls, to be kissed by the stronger man and doing other, even more suggested things with and to him…

Suddenly, Remus spilled the Butterbeer down his shirt. Looking down, he saw that, besides all of the sticky drink on himself, he had a hard-on. Quickly cleaning his shirt off, he leaned forward, making sure that no one saw it.

Sirius looked over at his best friend, noticing his crouched and uncomfortable position. "You alright, Remus?" he asked, furrowing his brow. Remus just nodded, blushing slightly.

"He's fine!" James said. "He must've been staring at Madame Rosemerta."

The three boys laughed while Remus sunk lower into his seat.

* * *

Remus Lupin looked back at his book, sighing. Peter looked at his friend and said, "Remus, are you okay?"

"No," Remus muttered darkly. Peter gave him a look as if to say, 'What's wrong?', and Remus marked and closed his book. He then looked around to make sure no one was listening.

"Okay," he paused. "You know how Sirius is…well, Sirius?" Peter nodded. "D'you…Am I the only bloke that finds him a little bit attractive?" Peter's face went white for a split second before turning completely red.

"Are you saying that…?"

"Yes, I like Sirius." Peter started to chuckle.

"Really? Are you sure?" The sandy haired boy nodded. "Well, I guess I'll break the news to you: He's shagging Katie Leung."

"That pretty Ravenclaw bird? Aw man…he's only fourteen!"

"I bet you wouldn't be saying that if_ you _were the one under him," Peter said, shooting him a (slightly creepy) suggestive look.

"Shut your face, Pete," Remus said, rolling his eyes.

"It's true!" Peter exclaimed, punching the air. Remus gave him a look.

"Peter, you have to promise that you _will not _tell Sirius or James, the former being more important. You cannot tell them that I like Sirius, okay?"

"Of course," Peter said. "I promise."

Remus hugged Peter. "Thank you, Wormtail."

"Welcome, Moony."

* * *

Remus Lupin looked back at his book, sighing. James yawned and lied out on the grass.

"Summer's almost here," he sighed out. Remus hummed in agreement. "I can't wait; Sirius says that he's going to help me get Lily."

"About time, too," Remus said, turning the page. "Is Sirius…he's still going out with the Hufflepuff, right?"

"Amy? Yeah. He's about to get in trouble, though," James added, twirling a blade of grass in-between his fingers. He ruffled his hair, saying, "Yeah, Peter and I caught him snogging a bloke…I think it was her brother, Robert."

Remus' heart exploded. James, looking up at the shocked Remus, said, "You alright, mate?"

"Sirius…he likes blokes?" Remus blurted. James nodded.

"You didn't know?"

"No! Good Merlin, this could be perfect…"

"Wait…what?" Remus, suddenly realizing what he was saying, shoved his nose back into his book. James, however, shoved the book down.

"You like Sirius. _Don't _lie to me," he added, as Remus' mouth opened to defend himself.

"Bollocks…yes, I like Sirius. Good Merlin, I love him…I love Sirius, James! Dammit, I can't get enough…"

"Okay, okay, hold on there," James said, smiling. "I get it. You love the poor boy. I won't tell him, Moony. Promise. You can count on me."

"Thanks," Remus breathed out.

* * *

Remus Lupin looked back at his book, sighing. Snape was yelling at James and Sirius, while Lily and Remus shot them disapproving glares and Peter and the crowd was cheering.

"Those guys are gits," Lily muttered.

"Tell me about it," Remus muttered back. Lily laughed at Remus' comment.

"You are something, Lupin. Tell me, what are you reading? Every time I see you, you're reading."

"Yeah, I know…I'm reading _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them _right now," he said, showing her the book.

"Very wicked," she said, smiling. "So, you know that Hogsmeade trip we're about to have? D'you wanna go with me?"

Remus did a double take; she was very to the point. "Er…well, I think I'd like to go with someone else, like…well, it doesn't matter…"

"Who?"

"Sirius," he said without caution. She nodded.

"Oh, okay, like friends?"

"Sure…" 'Way more than friends, but that'll have to do,' he thought to himself.

Lily sighed. "Well, who am I supposed to go with, then?"

Remus shrugged. "James, perhaps?"

"Hell no," she said, making a face. "Not if he was the last bloke on Earth."

* * *

Remus Lupin looked back at his book, sighing. He was sitting in the Common Room, studying for the N.E.W.T.'s that were going to happen in—le gasp—a week. Remus was so into the book that he didn't hear someone coming downstairs.

"Moony?"

Remus jumped. "Padfoot. Hello."

Sirius walked over to him, in, Remus moaned on the inside, nothing but a pair of boxers in Gryffindor colors. He sat down by him and asked, "So what are you doing up at this late hour?"

Remus yawned. "Studying."

"For what?"

"You know what."

Sirius laughed. "Those N.E.W.T.'s? Those things are dumb. You'll pass; you pass everything!"

"I know, but still," Remus said, scratching himself with his quill. "I want to make sure I can do it."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "You can do it, you dunce."

"I know." Sirius gave him a look.

"What's going on? You seem uncomfortable…"

"I'm fine," Remus said unconvincingly. Sirius rose an eyebrow that said, "Liar."

"Actually, I was just sitting here, trying to study, and then I looked up and you were standing there, and I was like…" Remus made a surprised face, "whoa."

Sirius laughed. "I'm not that dead sexy," he said, running a hand through that shaggy black hair. Remus sighed.

"Yes, you are."

Sirius stopped laughing and stared at Remus. "So…you…"

"Like you? No. Love you? Yes."

"Aw, Moony has a crush on Paddie!" Sirius teased.

"I'm serious, Sirius!" Remus said, blushing deeply. Sirius stopped laughing and said, "I know. But, unfortunately, I am not interested."

Remus felt his heart die a little. "You really know how to get to the point."

"Yeah, it's a blessing and a curse. I'm sorry, Remus, but I don't think I can ever see you as more than a friend. You understand?"

"Yep. It's okay, really." But Sirius had pulled Remus into an embrace, and Remus let a few tears land on his best friends bare chest.

* * *

Remus Lupin looked down at a sleeping Harry, sighing. He had just gotten through the hardest moment of his life: Seeing Sirius die. Harry couldn't bear it. And neither could Remus. It was almost as bad when he found out that James and Lily had died, or when Peter was found out to be part of the Death Eaters, or when Sirius had rejected him…

He let a few tears fall onto his sleeve, and then he felt a pair of arms around him. Tonks was hugging him.

"Tonks…" Remus muttered, hugging her back. She had been crying, but no more tears were falling from her eyes. She hugged him and muttered, "Everything's going to be okay…"

"No it's not!" Remus cried into Tonks' shoulder. "He's gone…my friend…"

"Shhh, you're going to wake up Harry," she muttered, smoothing down his hair. Remus cried into Tonks' shoulder for what seemed like hours, until finally, he regained his sanity and let go of her.

"Thanks, Tonks," he mumbled, smiling weakly. Tonks kissed his cheek.

"Don't worry about it. I'm sad too. Just be calm and patient. You'll feel better soon."

"Right," Remus said, glancing at Harry again. He looked so peaceful, even though he must be having the worst dreams. Remus knew that he was going to have the same, or at least just as bad, dreams as him tonight.

* * *

A/N: AWW poor Remy! Oh well…I worked really super hard on this, and I'm proud of the outcome. It took me three days! Holy cow. But it should be the best one EVER! lol. I think it's the longest ff I've ever written. YAY.

Next is 'Loneliness'. Poor lonely!


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